While we're walking through the reeds along the river,
Soaking up the sun and the breeze,
Pittering around the patter of the rain..
I'm watching you dance with the scent of lilies
Playing with your hair.
And you look back at me with softness in your eyes,
You ask me what I see
So I crafted you that story, to spare you
From my twisted, darkened mind.
See, While the words I said were true,
All I really saw was a lone rider
Coming toward us
Riding a pale horse.
He held a blackened banner above his rotting face
But dull were his words, muttered ever clear
And behind him all the world was filled with twisted, broken hearts.
He led the dregs of hell slowly alongside him
And they drew ever near.
While they passed there was a gap
Where they were forced to move around you.
For your light held them at bay.
But they never left, they just stayed to wait for you
To wait until you're broken and beaten to the ground.
Till you've lost that look of hope in your eyes,
The one I used to have.
They stand only waiting
Behind the angels that guard you.
But you can never know that beyond your light is pain and anger
That you are a haven while some of us walk the path alone
You don't need to know of suffering.
You don't need to see the dark.
For once you do, all that light flickers, and leaves you wanting more.
So walk among the willows.
Laugh at the ripples in the pond.
Be a shining light
I'll just sit, and wish that I was too.
Dude, this is really REALLY good. Very visual. In a way, it's one of the best love poems I think I've read. If you look at it from that angle - as a man who sees his world as a horrible dreary place but his love is his beacon and untainted harbor from it. Or that person inside themselves is not good or self-perceived as being not good. And, as much as he loves and adores her, because he sees the bad things, he knows her innocence, or their innocence together won't last. I can see it as being about a) 2 people in a relationship, b) one person adoring a beloved from afar or c) a parent to a child.
ReplyDelete"So I crafted you that story, to spare you". For some reason, I am really drawn to this. Perhaps because I wasnt to know the story he crafted to spare her, but more-so, I think, because it shows how when we love someone and dont want their views of us tainted or views of the world tainted or how we see the world tainted, we tell them things that arent truth but we pass them off as truth. To spare them, or more likely to spare us by not making all these things known. In the end, its not really sparing them at all, but probably doing more harm with the story than the truth of what we saw, would have.
I can definitely relate to the 'haven while some of us walk alone' aspect at the end. Sometimes that is a great benefit to have in your life and to have a soul that is anchored to anchor your own to. But sometimes, sadly, knowing they are havens and seens the dregs of hell encircling and drawing ever near makes us leave the haven because we see them laughing at the ripples in the pond and don't want their shining light to be dimmed by having us around.
One thing though... if the lone rider is riding a pale horse, how is the banner held above the darkened horse?
Well, sir here I am validashunizing your comment! haha first of all, thank you. I really appreciate that, this one was born of pure inspiration. Sometimes I have an idea that I let sit in my head for weeks or months until it randomly comes out in some way. This is actually some sort of an extension of the post I wrote earlier about the circle of light and beyond that is darkness. I can't remember which one it was, you posted on it. anyway, I agree that it could go two ways, he does see his "love" or the person he's talking to in a different way than the world around him. And he may be realizing that it could or could not last. He probably is leaning toward the hopeless aspect of it, or that it won't last because that's his outlook on life. I also wanted to write it from the point of view that he could be already married and this is one of the many reasons he is drawn to his wife or whatever. I actually was trying to shy away from the love from afar aspect because I didn't want to put that kind of time and thought into something that wasn't real aka to write about an admiration of someone that doesn't have an intimate connection with the narrator. I did that because I think envisioned him being in love, but at the same time unable truly connect or express himself and his feelings to her because he knows that she would view him differently and fall out of love with him, so he hides his secret, his perspective on life. I don't think this level of connection and pain could be achieved by the adore from afar scenario. I considered it but I really don't think it works. However, I really like that point of view from the parent to the child. I hadn't considered that honestly, but it really works. I mean, all the dimensions I was looking are there; the love, connection, inability to adequately express himself. Bingo. I wish I had thought of that, I could have changed or added some stuff to incorporate that more fully. And one more thing on that, you mention she is a harbor and I completely agree because she is his beacon or harbor, but at the same time she is his total and complete source of sadness because he feels almost like he's living a lie. To your next point, that's pretty much the issue he's struggling with. To spare her from his tainted view of the world, etc, he's lied and in the end he realized that nobody is better off for it, but at what point do you bring something that heavy up in a relationship. She could reject him, or live thinking he's crazy or emo or something, so in the end I guess he hasn't really committed to the idea of love or hasn't totally bought into a belief of real love. I don't know if that makes sense but it does in my head. The last part is true, there are people that would say they don't want to "dim" the lives of others, but really that's just a defense mechanism trying to protect themselves and lower their expectations so that they don't have to deal with anything difficult, so hopefully he's thought through that a little more. I didn't really get too deeply into what exactly caused or led to this darkness in his life, or the loss of hope. I just took the basic idea I had/way I felt and kinda pushed it further into a fictional narrative that went somewhat to an extreme to illustrate my thought but at the same was able to be something that could relate to people that knew what I was talking about or at least help enlighten some of those that live in their bubble. I dunno, if any of this doesn't make sense lemme know and I'll explain more.
ReplyDeleteTo your last question, I wrote darkened horse because I envisioned him starting off riding alone and pale, but as he got closer the clouds went ahead and darkened him to the point that he was nearly just gray. I didn't really explain that too well, but I didn't think it would help the flow/movement of the story if I stopped to explain it. I could have gone into much more detail about the whole hell thing but I didn't want to scare you Kevin. I know that you're a young and impressionable mind. :) Also there are people out there that would think I'm a freak, so I kept it short, simple, and vague.
ReplyDeleteWell, you are a freak. And it is known. But you're in good company. That does make sense now, with the horse. Some more explanation would have helped, jerk.
ReplyDeletePerhaps the affection from afar is less what I meant to say and more friend-zone territory. Cuz then the the love, connection, inability to adequately express himself are his main issues. Perhaps I see that most due to my history. But the parent/child, spouse/spouse angles work best. It is ambiguous though, which is good. That way, people can see it from the angle that fits them, and be enlightened in their bubbles.
I see a broken man observing an unbroken woman, and thinking her fall inevitable. I hope he swallows his fears, and she takes on his pain, and the two merge into one--full of her hopefulness even in the midst of his reality. That is the story of my life.
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