Tots Spam

Getting old.  When you're young there's nothing more exciting in life than the prospect of growing up.  At 5 you just wish you could reach the cabinets.  When you're 10 there are hours spent trying to prove that nobody is bigger or stronger than you.  At age 13 it's all about being able to dribble a basketball between your legs, and man, if you were just a bit taller it wouldn't be a problem.  At 15 you just want to be able to drive.

When 18 rolls around the parent's house seems like a prison holding you back.  21-23 seems to be the perfect time.  There are no real restrictions on life, the world is wide open.  24 rolls around and suddenly you're thinking, "wait, these years just keep going, like I'm just going to get older and older?"  Between the ages of 25 and 29 you've spent enough time digging your heals into the ground trying to resist 'ol father time, that age 30 hits and folks have to realize for the first time that they are basically just a decaying old person with no more potential in life.  You're surrounded by horrifying reminders that the world has moved on leaving you wholly out of touch with what's cool.

I'm pretty sure that when 50 hits everybody is metaphorically just trying to sprint in the opposite direction of death but knows it can't be done.  The age group of 45-55 is collectively keeping millions of Americans employed making various creams and vitamins that pretend to combat the whole aging process.  So I think the lesson here is that maybe by the age of 75 we'll all be able to just accept our lot and party hard for a few more years.  Maybe not, and maybe there's some secret to being "happy" (yuck) during the whole aging process.

The important thing here is that I'm cool with just staying 24 forever and not moving on physically or mentally.  I don't know if mother nature or God reads blogs but if you do, go bother Betty White or something, that old bag needs to go.  Stop wasting time on me.  I'm going to add a threat here just to make this plea a little more dire.  If I don't stay at 24 forever I promise to make myself age like a fine milkshake and give all humans everywhere a bad reputation.